How to self lace a corset (Corset Humor)

It would seem impossible at first but self lacing a corset can be done easily with some practice. First, find a hoyer lift, kidding!

In all seriousness, the most effective self lacing technique is to tie your laces to the chimney and jump off. Alright, I will get on with it before my readers accuse me of being a coffee addict.





Step by Step instructions (Self Lacing a Corset)

1. Call your BFF and let her know what you are about to do. ( Cant be too careful).
2. Leave a love note for your family so that if something happens to you they wont do the, “I didn’t even get to say goodbye”, thing. You may want to include your ATM pin # at the bottom of the note.
3. Put on clean underwear.
4. Have a snack handy.
5. Loosen the back laces and put your corset on.
6. Fasten the front completely closed. If your corset has a busk front closure, you may need a fork.
7. Put the fork down
8. Find a door knob
9. Ensure that the door knob is actually attached to a door.
10. Hang a poster of your favorite Hollywood Icon just adjacent the door knob, at least 10 feet away, to give you a focal point.
11. Secure the back corset laces to the door knob with a Braided Turks Head Knot.
12. If the phone rings, DON'T answer that! You don’t need ANY distractions right now.
13. Other expert lacer’s say to lace slowly, but I say get it over with.
14. Walk swiftly, I dare say run, towards your Hollywood Icon poster. If you move fast enough you can take advantage of the short delay in the time it takes your body to send a message to your brain to say, “this was a bad idea”.
15. You are laced now and it’s time to tie the back laces. First you have to Untie the Braided Turks Head Knot which will take you a while.
16. It’s time for that snack.
17. Tie the back laces in a pretty bow.
18. By now if your Best friend hasn’t shown up, she isn’t really your friend.

Congratulations, for a successful self lace!
~Tuley

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